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Clarence Thomas, Associate Justice

Bribe Pending!
Corruption laws are vague, and I intend to keep them that way.

Samuel A. Alito, Jr., Associate Justice

As a 'practical originalist,' I offer delightfully impractical solutions tailored to your every whim.

Brett M. Kavanaugh, Associate Justice

We could crush some beers, but I am going to need the money up front.

Amy Coney Barrett, Associate Justice

Jesus 'takes the wheel most heavily greased' if you catch my drift, which may have a partisan flavor for you to savor. 

John G. Roberts, Jr., Chief Justice

Help ...

Neil M. Gorsuch, Associate Justice

Ketanji B. Jackson, Associate Justice

Sonia Sotomayor, Associate Justice

Elena Kagan, Associate Justice